Human Sexuality #2: Virginity

I was surprised by how popular the introduction to this mini series was, so I'm rolling with it. As you can tell from the title we're going to be talking about virginity today. I will be writing this series up over the next day or so, and will schedule them to go out every few days, so you can read them and enjoy. Don't worry you'll be seeing other things too. As a disclaimer quite a bit of this post is just my personal opinions with a bit of research, nothing I am saying is fact, so do not take it as such.

First let's define virginity real quick, there are technically two definitions, I'll be sharing both. 1.) The state of never having had sexual intercourse. 2.) The state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context.

When talking about virginity, one of the biggest things that comes to mind is religion. I live in the 'bible belt' and I attended a Christian middle school, so I know a couple things about the general view many people have on virginity. Personally, I think placing such a heavy price on such a insignificant detail is both harmful and silly, but I will get more into that later. A huge reason Christian's believe in the idea of virginity and abstinence, is due to the Virgin Mary, as in the mother of Christ. Personally, I view the Virgin Mary, as a woman who was pure of soul, meaning she was innocent in all ways. Which is where the second definition comes in, I believe wholeheartedly that placing your self worth in the idea that your will be less of person if you engage in a natural human activity is both incredibly harmful and all around idiotic of our society.

That is not to say that those of you who believe you should wait until marriage are wrong, or that having a religious reason for waiting is a bad thing. Those decisions are ultimately up to you, and should be left in the hands of the person who is having intercourse. I don't think that young teenagers should be engaging in those behaviors, due to the fact that they are in such a vulnerable time in their lives. We all mature at different rates, some of you may have been ready for a sexual relationship at sixteen, while others may not have been ready until their twenties. These things are different for everyone, so I cannot say one way or another when/if a person should have sex or not.

I can only speak in terms of my own experiences, it was not helpful to me when the sex ed teacher was preaching STD's and abstinence, and if I knew my friends at the time as well as I think I did, it didn't help them much either. Most of us do not live in an episode of Scared Straight, many of my friends were already on their second or third sexual partner by their sophomore year of high school, and I don't think the slides showing what herpes looks like really changed anyone's opinion. I don't know, of course, I didn't ask, but that isn't the point.

I am going to talk about something fairly controversial now (wow, Taila that's new), so bare with me. In our society, most women are pressured to stay virgins to maintain their 'dignity', 'innocence', or something along those lines. While men tend to be encouraged to sleep around. Male virgins are often bullied, while women who are sexually active are often slut shamed. It's quite a conundrum, how can men sleep around, but women stay virgins (assume we're speaking in the sense of our hetero-normative society), it's just not possible. Causing all sorts of mental upset to those who suffer with these issues. Personally, I was blessed with an open family, who don't have double standards, and I had the freedom to make my decisions for myself, even the bad ones.

Time for some education! Many people believe that you can tell a woman's virginity by her hymen. Guess what everyone? That's total bullshit. The go to Wiki says: The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening... it doesn't seem to have a specific physiological function or purpose. The hymen can be broken the first time a woman has penetrative intercourse, but sources differ on how common that is. Injury, disease, exercise and many other things can cause the hymen to tear.  Now I am no doctor (I tried a medical major, and I hated it), so I'm not entirely sure if this information if completely correct, if not please let me know so I can inform the viewers. If my understanding is correct, a woman could keep her hymen her entire life, and still be sexually active, however I'm not sure.

Wow that was a lot, I am sure there are those of you who may disagree with what I've said here, so feel free to chime in on the discussion. Especially if you know any of my facts are wrong.

A random closing fact: There is a running theory  that when rituals request virgin blood/sacrifice they are not saying a virgin in the sexual sense, but rather blood that is pure of other rituals. Personally I think this is a much more interesting idea, but I cannot confirm or deny its truth.

Come back soon (God I need a different closing when I'm talking about sex).

Taila Out.

Writing #12: Editing

I haven't talked about how writing is going much lately, mostly because I've been crazy busy with editing. As a side note, I know exactly how often I use the words 'crazy busy', I'll stop when they are no longer apt, now back to the topic at hand.

I finished the first draft of Code Red, September 30th, and immediately jumped into Beta Reading. This was probably a mistake, but we all have to learn. I immediately started the first round of edits, and had them finished October 6th. Currently, only two of my Beta Readers have completed the book, my deadline for this round of Beta Reading is November 8th. I am still shooting for an early December release, but the more this month passes the less I see that happening. We're still on track, but I am disappointed to have fallen so far behind.

I'm currently working on the biggest stage of editing, with my Alpha Reader. It has been a very long, tedious, pain in my ass process. I tend to write minimal description as I go, because I already know what a scene looks like, for that reason there is lots of narration to be added. That doesn't include other rewrites and edits that have to be done. I decided to this the entire second bout by hand, to force fresh eyes on the work, and while that has worked I dread typing all the edits in.

On top of rewrites I learned that my chapters are not of equal length, so I am having to re do most all of the chapters which will probably double the number of chapters I have. The current (without rewrites) word count is about 60,300. I expect by the time it is complete we'll be pushing 70,000 if not more.

In the midst of editing I learned that my formatting is all screwed up, and while my wonderful Alpha Reader partially fixed it, there is still quite a ways to go. I could not be more thankful for those of you who have motivated and helped me along on this journey so far, without all of you Code Red would not have the tender loving care it truly deserves.

On that note, I best get back to editing!

Come back soon.

Taila Out.

Random Thoughts #3

It's late (or early I guess, depending on how you look at it), and I have lots of thoughts running around in my brain, waiting for attention. That isn't a new phenomenon for me, my brain is usually running at about three hundred miles per hour, it's one of the many reasons I talk so much. If I talk about things they quit harassing my mind, which is the big part of why I'm such an open book. I can always talk to myself, although society sort of frowns upon people walking around talking to themselves, so I usually drag someone along with me if I'm doing something, or I pop headphones in, and let music drown out my voice.

I've always been a talkative person(my family likes to remind me of this on a fairly regular basis), but on my worst mental health days I'm usually quiet and withdrawn. I learned to quickly identify when that feeling of quietness begins to take over the chaos I am used to, it's a very dangerous place for me to be.

I fidget constantly. Between slapping my phone against my palm, tapping my fingernails, and bouncing my legs, I don't see how anyone can stand to be around me ninety five percent of the time. While I suffer from anxiety, I'm not usually nervous. Which I know makes absolutely no sense, I'm aware that with anxiety and nervousness comes a certain level of fear for most people, but that just isn't the case in my life.

I dislike fear, the biggest reason being, that I have no idea how to handle it. For this reason I don't watch horror movies. I have no idea what to do with a fear response, I'm always anxious, but I'm rarely afraid. People love to tell me that I wouldn't be able to function if someone pointed a gun at me: well guess what everyone, I already can't function. (That was a horrible joke, Taila). No, but in all seriousness, I have zero fear of death, and that's the very worse thing a person with a gun can do to you. That's not to say I want to go about risking my life like an idiot, I don't, but I'm not going to avoid things because I might die. I know I'm in the one percent here, and for those of you who are currently wondering if I'm a psychopath, I can honestly say no, I have far to much empathy for that.

I'm currently staring at the box of tarot cards hanging out on my bookshelf and wondering if I can incorporate them somewhere in a blog post, I think it's far past my bed time.

Come back soon.

Taila Out.

Human Sexuality #1: Introduction

I should probably stop finding new things I want to talk about, but seeing as how my name is literally Taila Talks, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I mentioned this blog series in my last post, and decided that I wanted to give it a try.

I find the idea of human sexuality, incredibly interesting, but first allow me to define what I'm referring to when I say 'human sexuality'. Trusty old Wikipedia defines human sexuality as: the quality of being sexual, or the way people experience and express themselves as sexual beings. This involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. Because it is a broad term, which has varied over time, it lacks a precise definition.

Phew that was a lot, but I think the last line is the most important, human sexuality is a broad term without a precise definition. Meaning that it can be interpreted in many different ways. So, allow me to explain exactly what all I plan to talk to about. Before I begin, note that this series is for adults and my own personal interest and pleasure. I like to learn things, and I like to share, so that's exactly what I'm doing. My opinions are just that, opinions, I am not a trained professional by any means, and my word is not law. End of disclaimer, now to the fun stuff.

Sex and sexuality are one of my biggest interests (and not because I'm nineteen, my libido has nothing to do with it), because they play such a large role in our day or day lives. Sex affects many, many parts of a human's life span. I do not buy into the Freud's idea that children are sexual creatures, because I am not a disgusting human being, you'll have to excuse my very strong feelings on that. Whether you're interested in sex for procreation or fun, most everyone experiences in it one way or another. It is a commonality between us all, that I find fascinating.

So a list of the topics I intend to discuss:

• The concept of virginity. (will include religious discussion).
• How sex affects our emotions. 
• The topic of rape/molestation (far too many people experience this for me not to discuss it). 
• Kinks (I find the idea of kinky behavior so fascinating, I'm excited to dive into this one).
• Casual sex/the discussion of sex in social circles. 
• How sex can affect our bodies.
• Biological factors in sex (what do we inherit?).
• Sexual Instincts. (Pheromones)
• Relationships and their dynamics (including the way beauty/societal constructs help us pick our mates).

I'm sure there are some more things I may come across (don't be disgusting) that I will want to talk about, but I'm trying to keep the list fairly short. I know some of things may trigger some of you, so I will put a small warning before those posts. 

More to come very soon. (I said, don't be disgusting). 

Taila Out. 

Random Thoughts #2

My last post was really late, because I've been so insanely busy lately. I don't really have anything specific to talk about, so I thought I would do a little flow of consciousness post. Just for fun. We'll be back to regular programming soon.

I recently decided that when I start back to college next year, I am going to major in English and minor in Psychology. To do what, you may ask? I'll let you know when I figure that out. Over all they're the two things I enjoy most in school, so it only makes sense to focus on them.

On the topic of psychology I kind of want to write some blog posts about human sexuality, because I find it so fascinating. I don't know if I will do that here, since it doesn't match the overall tone of this blog, but we will see. If you want to see something like that shoot me a message.

My phone has been blowing up lately. For most people that isn't anything to talk about, but I tend to isolate, and not talk to many people. These days, I'm running my battery down, a few times a day, which has its positives and its negatives. If I'm being totally honest, I kind of expect it will stop, and I'll be kind of sad. I enjoy getting to socialize a lot, even as an introvert, socializing is really important to me.

Right now it's 4 AM, and I should really being going to bed. However, I am more jazzed than I was two or three hours ago. I should probably wrap up this post, turn off the lights, and go to sleep.

On that note I'm going to go to bed, more posts coming soon.

Taila Out.

Genre Discussion #3: Young Adult

Unlike the last two segments of this, I have a wider range of material to cover. I want to talk about young adult for a couple of reasons. The first being just how popular it is in our culture; Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, Divergent, and the Percy Jackson series are just a couple of examples of huge YA franchises. Young adult is huge genre, with many, many sub genres. Today I'm going to give a few recommendations, in the future I may to a part two due to the fact it's such a large topic. 

• A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Mass- I somewhat hesitate to call this YA, due to some of the content, it could fall under a New Adult genre, but I don't personally see any reason a younger audience couldn't read this series. 
• Whisper by Phoebe Kitandis- There's no question in my mind that this is YA, but it's one of the best YA books I've ever read. 
• Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon- If you read my previous post you'll remember I recommended this author for her adult PNR series, well if you want to read her YA series set in the same universe here you go. 
• Wings of Arian by Devri Walls- One of the best high fantasy YA reads ever. I need not say more. 

Authors

• John Green
• Tera Lynn Childs
• Rick Riordan

I know this blog post is super short, but I've been crazy busy. Tell me about your favorite YA books in the comments. 

Taila Out. 

Poetry #5

I didn't give this one a title, because I had no idea how to explain this one. For the record I am not referencing anyone specific in this snippets.

***

Brie

I knew her. I can still see her golden skin bathed in sunlight, God kissing her with light. Red hair, her fire bird soul come to life. 

Laughter echoing through the crowded halls we so often walked together.

They stole something from her. Her light faded. The phoenix cannot rise from these ashes.
***
Alexander

You, so much like the king you were named after. Proud, brave, golden haired, and the end of a dynasty. You wanted everyone at your feet, and I refuse to kneel for anyone.

I was always a different person when we were together. Something about you brought out the beastly parts of me. I never recognized myself after our time together, and it was addictive to become someone else.

We were toxic, and it was everything I needed.
***
Mr. Smith

Funny that I can only think of you by your title.

No warmth, no familiarity so unlike our relationship. Now I hold no joy for those moments. No interest in you.

I don't even know why I'm writing this.
***
Melonie

We were such opposites.

I was fire and you were ice.

Your apathy did not match my passion.

I will never understand how we worked, I guess we didn't. Your ice froze me out, and my fire burned you away.
***
Come back soon!

Taila Out.