Human Sexuality #2: Virginity

I was surprised by how popular the introduction to this mini series was, so I'm rolling with it. As you can tell from the title we're going to be talking about virginity today. I will be writing this series up over the next day or so, and will schedule them to go out every few days, so you can read them and enjoy. Don't worry you'll be seeing other things too. As a disclaimer quite a bit of this post is just my personal opinions with a bit of research, nothing I am saying is fact, so do not take it as such.

First let's define virginity real quick, there are technically two definitions, I'll be sharing both. 1.) The state of never having had sexual intercourse. 2.) The state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context.

When talking about virginity, one of the biggest things that comes to mind is religion. I live in the 'bible belt' and I attended a Christian middle school, so I know a couple things about the general view many people have on virginity. Personally, I think placing such a heavy price on such a insignificant detail is both harmful and silly, but I will get more into that later. A huge reason Christian's believe in the idea of virginity and abstinence, is due to the Virgin Mary, as in the mother of Christ. Personally, I view the Virgin Mary, as a woman who was pure of soul, meaning she was innocent in all ways. Which is where the second definition comes in, I believe wholeheartedly that placing your self worth in the idea that your will be less of person if you engage in a natural human activity is both incredibly harmful and all around idiotic of our society.

That is not to say that those of you who believe you should wait until marriage are wrong, or that having a religious reason for waiting is a bad thing. Those decisions are ultimately up to you, and should be left in the hands of the person who is having intercourse. I don't think that young teenagers should be engaging in those behaviors, due to the fact that they are in such a vulnerable time in their lives. We all mature at different rates, some of you may have been ready for a sexual relationship at sixteen, while others may not have been ready until their twenties. These things are different for everyone, so I cannot say one way or another when/if a person should have sex or not.

I can only speak in terms of my own experiences, it was not helpful to me when the sex ed teacher was preaching STD's and abstinence, and if I knew my friends at the time as well as I think I did, it didn't help them much either. Most of us do not live in an episode of Scared Straight, many of my friends were already on their second or third sexual partner by their sophomore year of high school, and I don't think the slides showing what herpes looks like really changed anyone's opinion. I don't know, of course, I didn't ask, but that isn't the point.

I am going to talk about something fairly controversial now (wow, Taila that's new), so bare with me. In our society, most women are pressured to stay virgins to maintain their 'dignity', 'innocence', or something along those lines. While men tend to be encouraged to sleep around. Male virgins are often bullied, while women who are sexually active are often slut shamed. It's quite a conundrum, how can men sleep around, but women stay virgins (assume we're speaking in the sense of our hetero-normative society), it's just not possible. Causing all sorts of mental upset to those who suffer with these issues. Personally, I was blessed with an open family, who don't have double standards, and I had the freedom to make my decisions for myself, even the bad ones.

Time for some education! Many people believe that you can tell a woman's virginity by her hymen. Guess what everyone? That's total bullshit. The go to Wiki says: The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening... it doesn't seem to have a specific physiological function or purpose. The hymen can be broken the first time a woman has penetrative intercourse, but sources differ on how common that is. Injury, disease, exercise and many other things can cause the hymen to tear.  Now I am no doctor (I tried a medical major, and I hated it), so I'm not entirely sure if this information if completely correct, if not please let me know so I can inform the viewers. If my understanding is correct, a woman could keep her hymen her entire life, and still be sexually active, however I'm not sure.

Wow that was a lot, I am sure there are those of you who may disagree with what I've said here, so feel free to chime in on the discussion. Especially if you know any of my facts are wrong.

A random closing fact: There is a running theory  that when rituals request virgin blood/sacrifice they are not saying a virgin in the sexual sense, but rather blood that is pure of other rituals. Personally I think this is a much more interesting idea, but I cannot confirm or deny its truth.

Come back soon (God I need a different closing when I'm talking about sex).

Taila Out.