There’s lots of parts of publishing a book and working on building my career as an author that I didn’t expect. Many lessons have been learned since April, but the one currently being shoved in my throat is definitely among the hardest.
I haven’t entirely made an official announcement, but in January 2025 I intend to open my publishing company. I have been working through the idea and ways to do that for several months. I’ve consulted a tax professional. I’m working on making sure I’m organized and ready for things to truly take off in the new year. It’s exciting, and far more terrifying than publishing a book. I knew my novel could fail, I was prepared to simply let that failure exist and keep trying. Opening my own company is a little different, but I’m going to do it.
Here’s the problem. The lesson that I am currently having the universe stuff down my throat isn’t an easy one for me. I am having to learn to let personal issues and emotions be secondary to maintaining my professionalism. I’m pretty good at the slightly cunty professionally toned lecture. I am not as successful with simply allowing myself to be disrespected without action. I don’t take personal attacks well at all. Especially from people I view as having no right to speak down to me.
This has come up in a big way for the first time as an author. A “friend” of mine posted an extremely bad and rather rude review of Code Red. They didn’t take the time to come to me about what issues they found, they didn’t even have the balls to tell me anything about it directly. Frankly, this was entirely a petty move due to a personal disagreement that had nothing to do with my novel. I have stewed on it on and off for weeks. I simply cannot let it go. Not because I care that Code Red has a bad review. Frankly, the fact that Code Red has such amazing reviews is a blessing. One bad review shouldn’t get to me. In reality, were the review from a stranger I wouldn’t have been bothered at all. The fact it was from someone I knew, who didn’t have the wherewithal to discuss their issues with me? I want desperately to be unbothered by that. To be an unemotional professional. In truth, I have been thinking of all the violent, horrendous ways I’d like to see them suffer for their disrespect. Clearly, I have issues right? Eh, I am human and my books are my babies. I poured seven years of my blood, sweat, and tears into Code Red. Is it perfect? Hell no. There is going to be a second edition in the near future. I’m just prioritizing getting more novels out first. The reality is anyone in my position would have been bothered by someone claiming to be a friend choosing such a petty and underhanded thing to do. It’s okay for me to have feelings about it. I know I’m not going to truly respond or do anything about it. (For legal purposes I’m totally exaggerating my horrible violent plans for their untimely demise). I am better than that. I will get nowhere I want to be allowing other people’s disrespect to cloud my vision.
I have no doubt this isn’t the end of this lesson for me. I am a proud person, it is a flaw of mine that is hard to contend with. Allowing anyone (but especially people I know) to disrespect and belittle me is extremely difficult. However, I would much rather focus on the good aspects of my career, on all the things I have planned, the places I want go than let someone have any form of emotional control of me.
I want to extend my highest appreciation to each and every person that has encouraged my journey. I can only hope your kind words and actions will be the voices ringing in my head the next time someone chooses to forget their lane with me. If not hopefully the people who love me keep bail money on hand… I’m kidding… (for legal purposes)
Sometimes I just have to let it out in a blog post guys. Not sure this said much more than a vague rant, but if you read this far… Blue Dreams is releasing March 15, 2025! It’s available for pre-order on Amazon right now.
Taila Out
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