Snapchat & The Flu: The Name of My Ban(d)

 It's been a hard week. It's a long story, some of it I'll tell, some I won't. I started off the week, Monday morning, pretty good. I was on top of work and feeling good. This should have been a sign to lay low, and enjoy the tranquility. I chose violence (metaphorically), and it ended badly. It started when my Snapchat was banned, I've done research on how to handle that, all of learned is that unless I'm going to go buy a new phone, and get a new phone number (which isn't happening), I am without my most used and favorite app. This is emotional for me, because not only did I lose contact with people I enjoy talking to, Snapchat's filter's have been a method in letting go of my self hatred and gaining confidence. I know that's ridiculous. I may be fat, but damn I make it look good. That was the beginning of a less than quiet emotional break down (I blame the fact I've been off my mental health medication for a couple months and desperately need my mood stabilizer). On top of that, I've had the flu, even today, while seemingly my migraine is gone, I certainly don't feel normal. I fell behind at work, causing me to work 10 1/2 hours on Friday, which didn't improve my mood in the least. But! I'm not going to vent about a rough week through this entire post. And while I would put money on the fact that someone in my personal life is out to get me (well at least enough to report my account six times in one day), continuing to put time and energy into that is a waste. What am I going to do instead? 

Well first, I'm going to finish writing my weekly blog post, then I'm going to do a bit of cleaning. Probably try to coax my new kitten, Shuri, from under the furniture. I'm going to focus on the things in life that actually matter. I may not be enjoying my loved one's today (I don't want to pass the flu around), but I will take a deep breath, and remember that the internet is a silly place, and there's little reason to take it too seriously. It's unhealthy to be so invested in it that losing an app could ruin your week. I'm going to sit down and plan out the first five episodes of my podcast, maybe I'll even start recording. I'm going to relish in the fact I only work three days next week, my plan is to finish the edits on Code Red during my four day vacation, and get to see some people I'm missing. 

How is Code Red doing? Well the first ten chapters have been gone over and edited on paper. After I finish the other twenty two, I'll do once last look over, before I begin putting together the final draft. I'm certain this will take a while, but my goal is to have it done, realistically, at the end of January. The holidays will definitely take  a lot of my attention over the next couple months. I've been doing a bit of procrastinating, but I'm going to buckle down and get it done. After that? Well I'll have to get book two done. It only took me five months to write the first draft of book one, maybe I can beat my five years of editing, and have book two finished by the end of next year. But my goals for 2023 is a post coming a bit later. 

Taila Out. 

Go Vacuum

I break every vacuum cleaner I touch. It's been a long running problem in my twenty four years of life. I've never found one that can survive me using it. Is this probably some kind of user error? Maybe, but I like to think it's a result of family karma. I wasn't alive when this took place, so I can't vouch too much for what really happened then, but my grandmother had a rule. If you told her you were bored, you had to vacuum. This comes from an incident with a cousin when my Dad was a kid, but I grew up hearing the story. As as result, bored was not part of my vocabulary whenever it could be avoided. Since, every vacuum cleaner I've ever touched as quickly bit the dust, I wasn't often punished with vacuuming, but the rule still imparted on me an ability to entertain myself. 

I talk to a lot of people, the internet is a good place for that, and in an effort to make friends and influence people I tend to respond to most messages I receive. One thing this has taught me, is that I unfortunately share my grandmother's extreme displeasure at someone constantly complaining they are bored. Let me show you how many of my conversations go: 

Random Person: What're you up to? 

Me: I'm just working. You?

Random Person: I'm bored af. 

Me (having a quiet stroke as I've received that exact response 8 times today): That sucks. 

Usually any further conversation is ended then, because I have no desire to continue to talk to someone so useless in their life that they can't entertain themselves (not to mention that a lot of people really have no idea how to hold a conversation in the year 2022). I know exactly how harsh that sounds, and I really don't care. I'm an asshole, this is something I've had to except about myself. 

Now let me preface what I'm about to say with this: I do get bored sometimes, usually as a result of finishing a project, book, tv show, etc. that has had my attention for a prolonged period of time. We all know about a show hole, it happens. What I can't imagine, is sitting around lamenting this to random people on the internet. Where is the motivation to live, the want to at least impress people you're talking to. At best it's a conversational dead end, at worst it's a look into how unfulfilled you are in life. I like to call these type of people NPC's, they may have a hobby or two (video games or something outdoorsy), but there's no passion to live, to experience new things, to grow the mind. Truthfully, the whole reason they're texting me is in hopes that I am a dancing monkey who will entertain them. I detest this. I have no lack of passion for being alive, or lack of things to do. From hobbies to chores to catching up with friends and family to work, there is always something to be doing. Now, I love a nice lazy day, but I make the choice that I want to relax and take time to myself, certainly not out of boredom. 

I think it's also important to note that 9 times out of 10 the person saying that to me is of the male persuasion. I think this is likely because many men near my age (really any age, but I'll only speak from experience) are not equipped with the ability to take care of themselves. Our society often sets men up to be cared for first by their mothers, then subsequently by their girlfriends or wives, so they often lack the urgency of things like household chores, raising children, etc. I've been blessed to be raised by men who don't act this way or believe it's okay, so I have little tolerance for do-nothings. There's always something to be doing, and if it's not some kind of important life necessity, there's so much art in the world. So many things to experience, why not seek them out. 

Or go vacuum. 

Just don't text me about it. 

Taila Out.