Yall just love it when I get philosophical… right? Today I wanna talk about friendship. This is clearly a fairly common topic for me, since the last post I actually published was talking about losing a friend.
I have never considered myself to have many, if any, true friends. I’ve certainly had a few people that got the title of “Best Friend” over the years, but as we sit today, those people don’t speak to me anymore. Did I do something wrong in those friendships? Of course. Did they? Most likely. Am I upset with those friends today? No, because part of growth is often shedding the people in life that hold you back. I hope my former friends have grown into the amazing people I saw them to be. I certainly have grown so much in the last few years.
My circle is very small, if almost nonexistent. I’m currently planning my wedding (I’m sure you’ll get a blog post on that soon enough) and I’ve realized just how few people I want to share that day with.
I don’t consider this to be a bad thing. The couple of amazing people I have as friends now have been supportive of me through my failures and my successes. They have the pleasure of knowing me as a healed version of myself. Past friends have not had that same experience. It often makes me sad that I have virtually no one that has seen my journey and stuck by my side. Other than my family, the only person to see the best and worst of me is Tyler. Our relationship is built on the very best foundation… friendship. We will always be best friends first. That is probably why even in the worst of our relationship we’ve stuck it out. Our companionship comes before our romance. I am so thankful to have someone in my life who has seen me suffer in most every way I can and still stood by my side. To be walking into this healed and beautiful journey that is my life now with him is something I could not have imagined in the darkest days of my life. Is he perfect? Hell no, he’s a man… A mid-twenties man at that. He makes mistakes, drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it away for all the gold in world.
Okay wow now that I’ve gotten past the sappiness, I’m going to say something crazy. I think that it’s good to lose friends. Not all people are meant to stay in our lives forever. We should enjoy the time we have with our friends, appreciating them for the unique, individual that they are. If that time comes to an end for some reason, then we can look back on those memories with fondness and accept that that was the time we had with that person. People grow apart, especially when we are young. It is normal and healthy to allow those connections to fall away. It allows space for new, valuable connections into our life. I would never have put as much energy into my current circle if I was still giving energy to the past.
I also think that time alone is extremely important to emotional growth. Not only does it allow us to appreciate the people in our lives that are truly putting in the work, but it allows us time for deep introspection. Why have the people I've chosen to have in my life not stayed? Have I chosen them badly or have I done something that is driving these people away? These are deep questions that are important to know if you have a bad pattern of personal relationships. Knowing why we do things or maintain harmful patterns is the first step in making changes to improve our lives.
I think that's probably deep enough on this subject for today.
Taila Out.
