The Art of Writing #1

 I've had this blog for a very long time. Approaching a decade actually. I like to think that there are a few souls that have followed my journey, or at the very least, can track the changes in both my life and my narrative voice over time. The one thing that no one can say is that I have not had a passion for the art of writing for a very, very long time. I don't care about fame or fortune. I didn't write and publish books with the belief that I would one day be the next Stephen King. I wouldn't pretend that I am the most poetic or perfectly poised author. I lack a professional editor. My debut novel, Code Red, could desperately use a second edition with some line editing. I don't lose sleep over that fact. I am still proud of that story, the one that truly made me an authoress. What no one will ever tell me is that I am not improving on my craft every day. I work, research, and adjust with every word I write. Any good author does. I consider myself more than a hobby author. This is my obsession, my world, the air that I breathe. There is not a moment in time that some book related thing isn't occurring in my mind. Some story forming and reforming until it takes shape in a way that cannot be ignored. My desire to share my stories with the world is an ever-burning flame, scorching me until another book and another book and another book is created. 

Here's my problem. There is a lot of conflicting advice and colorful advertisement in the world of indie authors. Quite a few predatory people have entered this industry more than happy to take advantage of a person with a dream to share their story with the world. Even more well-meaning people see editing, graphic design, and even writing as a way to make money. I am happy that there is so much access for small businesses to grow on the internet, but like many things in the internet space it is a double-edged sword. A few online classes don't give a person true talent. In fact, I know many amazing authors who never took a writing class of any kind. Education may improve an ability, but it cannot grant you talent that is lacking. 

I'm going to give an example of bad advice that I have seen online. "Said is dead". This has been circulating for quite a while. The idea behind it is that using "said" too much as a dialogue tag is monotonous or bores readers. While I can agree that too much of anything isn't enjoyable, the word "said" is invisible to readers. They think nothing of it as they're reading because it is supposed to be there. Using dramatic dialogue tags will take the reader out of the story and can absolutely make the writing seem more immature. That doesn't change this advice being heavily pushed. Baby authors and aspiring writers shouldn't listen or worry about these details when they are in the beginning stages of writing their first novel. I don't even recommend listening to advice (especially paid advice) unless it is coming from a very well-known author, a professional editor (not an indie author that took an online class), or your publishing company. The only other opinions that I'd ever recommend listening to is your readers! This is why alpha, beta, and ARC readers are so important to indie authors. These are (hopefully) people who want your book to thrive. If they tell you something in the manuscript is taking them out of the story, then it's worth considering. Especially if the feedback is the same again and again. 

I actually made the personal choice to move away from entering the editing business. Instead, I will provide my feedback and advice at no cost (or with a trade of skills). Supporting one another without the expectation of money changing hands is more valuable. Someday I will probably start making TikTok or YouTube videos to inspire baby authors to keep trying. This choice grants me freedom and gives me a ton of space to grow in my craft even more. Maybe one day I'll decide to truly open myself up for editing, but writing is my passion, not editing. 

My specialty is in world building and story crafting. It is the part of the craft that I am most involved in. I was just blessed with a brain that imagines worlds in such vivid detail that I can't help to try to put it into words. I have authors that I help with their world building, and I am more than proud to say that their books are doing phenomenally well. Is that because of me? Of course not, these are talented individuals, but I get to take the credit of being part of their team. My grammar is decent but could certainly use improvement, describing scenes and characters is something I'm improving on. There isn't a day that I am not working on my skills as an author. And that is truly my advice to every author out there: fall in love with the art of writing, consume every morsel of research on it, take half the advice online with a grain of salt, and ultimately? Write the stories in your heart. That is what will impress readers the most, the emotions you can evoke in them. Never let someone tear your work apart when they don't have quality work to show themselves. 

And yes this is just the first rant I'm going to go on about the art of writing. Prepare yourselves to hear my never-ending thoughts on my greatest passion, my mistress even. 

Taila Out. 

Friendship & A Pinch of Sappiness

 Yall just love it when I get philosophical… right? Today I wanna talk about friendship. This is clearly a fairly common topic for me, since the last post I actually published was talking about losing a friend.  

I have never considered myself to have many, if any, true friends. I’ve certainly had a few people that got the title of “Best Friend” over the years, but as we sit today, those people don’t speak to me anymore. Did I do something wrong in those friendships? Of course. Did they? Most likely. Am I upset with those friends today? No, because part of growth is often shedding the people in life that hold you back. I hope my former friends have grown into the amazing people I saw them to be. I certainly have grown so much in the last few years. 

My circle is very small, if almost nonexistent. I’m currently planning my wedding (I’m sure you’ll get a blog post on that soon enough) and I’ve realized just how few people I want to share that day with. 

I don’t consider this to be a bad thing. The couple of amazing people I have as friends now have been supportive of me through my failures and my successes. They have the pleasure of knowing me as a healed version of myself. Past friends have not had that same experience. It often makes me sad that I have virtually no one that has seen my journey and stuck by my side. Other than my family, the only person to see the best and worst of me is Tyler. Our relationship is built on the very best foundation… friendship. We will always be best friends first. That is probably why even in the worst of our relationship we’ve stuck it out. Our companionship comes before our romance. I am so thankful to have someone in my life who has seen me suffer in most every way I can and still stood by my side. To be walking into this healed and beautiful journey that is my life now with him is something I could not have imagined in the darkest days of my life. Is he perfect? Hell no, he’s a man… A mid-twenties man at that. He makes mistakes, drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it away for all the gold in world. 

Okay wow now that I’ve gotten past the sappiness, I’m going to say something crazy. I think that it’s good to lose friends. Not all people are meant to stay in our lives forever. We should enjoy the time we have with our friends, appreciating them for the unique, individual that they are. If that time comes to an end for some reason, then we can look back on those memories with fondness and accept that that was the time we had with that person. People grow apart, especially when we are young. It is normal and healthy to allow those connections to fall away. It allows space for new, valuable connections into our life. I would never have put as much energy into my current circle if I was still giving energy to the past. 

I also think that time alone is extremely important to emotional growth. Not only does it allow us to appreciate the people in our lives that are truly putting in the work, but it allows us time for deep introspection. Why have the people I've chosen to have in my life not stayed? Have I chosen them badly or have I done something that is driving these people away? These are deep questions that are important to know if you have a bad pattern of personal relationships. Knowing why we do things or maintain harmful patterns is the first step in making changes to improve our lives. 

I think that's probably deep enough on this subject for today.

Taila Out.

Writing Update #18: Tails Tales Edition One

Let me tell you about my boooooks. (Read to the tune of 'let me tell you about my best friend'). 

Blue Dreams (Reclaiming Wonderland #2) released on March 15th. It was the hardest book I've written so far, taking me eight months to complete. After I finished it in August of 2024, I worked on several projects without finishing anything. In January of 2025, I buckled down and finished my first dark romance. An urban fantasy, dark romance novella, One Bloody Night, will be the first book in the Austral Witches series. Each will be a standalone following a different set of characters in a different Southern state (mostly). It will be releasing on June 13, 2025, on Kindle Unlimited and Amazon. 

In February, amidst so many things happening, I wrote Two Shadowed Hearts. It is the second book in the Austral Witches. I absolutely love it, it flowed so easily, and I truly look forward to it releasing on September 13th, 2025. 

In March, I focused on a Reclaiming Wonderland project that will be releasing later this year. It is not book three. It will be releasing on December 5th, 2025. At this time, I won't be releasing anymore details. 

Speaking of Reclaiming Wonderland, I did announce the title of book three... Emerald Knights. It will be releasing in Spring of 2026. I'm hoping to have it done by August, but we shall see. That's a lot for just the first few months of the year, but I don't intend to slow down. On top of finishing Emerald Knights this year, I intend to also finish the third book in the Austral Witches series. I'm currently having an easier time writing it than Emerald Knights. The characters in the Reclaiming Wonderland series may be a bit mad at me for the way that I ended Blue Dreams. We are at a standoff currently, but I'll win the battle soon. Emerald Knights is probably the book I'm most excited to release into the world, I've been imagining this book for years. Of course, it's morphed and changed as the series has grown, but it has roots in fantasy deeper than the first two in the series. Exploring deeper into this world is both exciting and nerve wracking as readers continue to pick up Code Red and Blue Dreams. 

The Austral Witches series has morphed a lot since I started One Bloody Night in September 2024. Originally it was going to be a one off, then Larissa walked onto the page and demanded her own book. I think that is why Two Shadowed Hearts was so easy for me to write. It didn't stop there though; I will tell you that I have sat down and plotted out this series... thirteen novellas. So many amazing stories to tell in this world. I'm aiming to have them out as quickly as possible. 

Do you really think that's all I'm working on? Of course not. I've got two standalones that I'm hoping to have out in 2026 and 2027. Y'all my WIP numbers grow every year, at last count it was looking like I have about fifty books planned out across about twenty-two series. That doesn't even include every little prompt and idea that I've jotted down over the years. I'm aiming to have twenty books out before I turn 31 in 2029. I hope that y'all will continue to enjoy my journey in the indie author world. I have no intention to stop sharing about it anytime soon. Even if I am a little inconsistent on when I post, can you really blame me? 

Taila Out. 

PS: If you're interested in grabbing any of my works find me on Facebook (Taila Cantrell Author) or  Instagram (tcantrellauthor) all my links can be found there! 

Loss, Love, & Lessons

 Today I am exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. In nine days my fiancé's father and grandmother have passed away. This all started the day after our seventh anniversary. I've gotten a promotion at my job (yay! But also less sleep and more on my mental load).  I don't think anyone would blame me for being a bit of a frazzled mess at the moment. The universe always takes the chance to teach me a new lesson when I am drained. Probably because it is the easiest time to get through my thick skull.

Today I lost a friend. I went through a huge purge of my social circle in 2023. Not in any angry way, but I grew up, things happened, and I lost contact with some people that I cared deeply for. I still wish them the very best in life. I would talk to them again if the opportunity presented itself. I've worked hard over the last couple years to rebuild my friend group. I want to surround myself with people who give as much as I do. I want to surround myself with intimacy and love and growth. I work my ass off everyday to become better, I demand that in the people that are closest to me. I am understanding, because the Lord knows I have bad days, I fail, I make mistakes. We all do, we're human. 

I lost a friend, because I chose honesty over holding my tongue. I'll admit when I decided to be completely honest with my friend last night, I knew it would be harsh. For months, I've coddled them emotionally, given advice, and been exceedingly kind and understanding. Even as it bothered me, hurt my feelings, or didn't meet my expectations. I hold myself to unreasonably high expectations, I try to lower them for others, because I know I need to. But I remembered something last night as I received yet another message asking me to do emotional labor (read: not getting paid for the therapy I provided). I remembered that sometimes when I was acting in a similar vein someone I cared for was honest with me. They said the thing that hurt and I spent time thinking about it. I didn't always appreciate the painful truth, but it always was in the back of my mind. What we think about, we change. The reality is, I was a little too harsh. I should have been just a bit nicer than I was, but I'm a human being who should be allowed to make a mistake or have a bad day. Especially considering that they know what I've been going through the last few weeks. 

Instead I was met with insecurity, fear, and immaturity. I wasn't met with someone who considered me their friend, especially not an equal. Today, when I realized just how much being left on read had bothered me I reached out. I called out the behavior. And I was floored by someone who views me as the bad guy. I find this role surprisingly comfortable. I have played the villain for many, many people in my life. At times I have even strived to be seen as dangerous or intimidating. I will play the role that a person puts me in as if I was made for it. And so I made my exit. I removed that friend from my life. I accepted in a single moment that my friendship was never as strong as I thought, and I let it go. Or at least I began too. Writing this blog post is the final step. 

The truth is there had always been signs that this was not a person I could truly be close to. Not only the obvious one's I've mentioned above. This person was deeply judgmental of others. Everyone else was always a problem. That's a huge red flag, but I ignored it out of love for them. I follow the 'don't throw stones in a glass house' idea very closely. I certainly don't judge anyone if my life is worse than theirs. Frankly, judging anyone is wrong. It's something I am working to be better about. I wasn't judging them when I told them the observations I'd made about their situation. I was trying to give them a different perspective. That wasn't appreciated. The reality was, they wanted me to be on their side against someone else. I don't want to play that game. Sometimes we are wrong and we need to be told that. I want people in my life who will tell me when I'm wrong. Clearly, this person didn’t feel the same. That’s okay, but it doesn’t mean I should have to lower my standards of friendship for anyone. 

This is another form of loss. When Death takes someone we love, it is heart wrenching. There is no amount of time that makes that loss easier. We only adjust to it, find ways to cope. Death is a part of life though. It is expected that we will lose our parents or grandparents, especially as we get older. Losing a friend is a different kind of grief when it is over avoidable drama. I may not have lost a true friend, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I hate that my love for this person is ultimately what ended our friendship. Love for me involves honesty. When I provided honesty out of love for them, as a way to help their constant inner turmoil I was met with ridicule. The truth is some people can’t face their fears and insecurities head on. I should have considered that more before I answered. 

Ultimately, the universe has given me another lesson. For that I am grateful, even if I hurt from it. I will be a stronger person and better friend from this. That’s all I wish for anyone in my life. Happiness, peace, and growth to our best selves. 

Taila Out. 

The One Where I Talk About The Big Scary

 What is the big scary in 2025? Some of you probably have guessed correctly... politics. I don't discuss my political or religious beliefs often, but sometimes I just have something to say that I can't help but blog about. This is a conversation in good faith, so please don't bring bad-faith arguments into the comment sections or my inbox. I block and delete hate and lies without a second thought. 

Most anyone who knows me in my personal life knows that I am a left-leaning person. I believe that people of color deserve the same rights, respect, and lives as anyone else. I believe that immigrating to America should be easy and extremely common. I believe that women should be allowed to have abortions or whatever other healthcare they want. I believe that gay and trans people deserve to live their lives without being attacked or belittled. I believe in the separation of church and state. I believe the prison system is just the newest form of slavery, which is why more POC are incarcerated. I believe that marijuana should be legal federally. I believe that we need socialized medicine and a universal basic income. Call me a dirty liberal or a socialist all you like, I care about humanity. All of these things benefit humanity. 

Now here's where I'm going to lose some of you. I like guns, I do not want my handgun taken away because it keeps me safe. I don't think people under eighteen need to have permanent surgeries, hormones are fine in most cases. Haircuts and clothing changes are absolutely important. Children don't need to make permanent changes to their bodies. We don't allow kids to get tattoos, so I think waiting until adulthood to get gender-affirming surgeries is reasonable. I also do not care for people using very weird pronouns (fae/fe as an example). I'm all for he/him, she/her, they/them. I can even get on board with xe/xir, but I think trying to escape reality too much is a sign of some serious mental health issues. I don't care for cancel culture at all. It's gone too far. Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes. Cancel culture has lost all meaning, and we need to stop. I don't think anyone under sixteen should have access to social media/the internet. It's extremely damaging to young minds. I do think entitlement is a huge problem in today's culture, and because of how the media has treated Gen Z and Millennials it's something that won't be easily fixed. No one owes us anything. Everyone still has to operate in the world today, whether they like it or not. Mental illness isn't an excuse for everything. 

Okay, so we've pretty much established that both sides have every reason in the world to hate me. But you know what, that's the whole point. EVERYONE has feelings like this. The world is not a black-and-white place. Two things can be true at the same time. Most people have very complicated lives and beliefs. If we treated each other more kindly, the world would be a much better place. In my real life, as I move through the world I rarely ever have bad interactions with people. Because I treat everyone with respect and kindness, even if I don't agree with them. There will always be hateful and horrible people, but if we spent more time looking for the good in others and less time trying to pick them apart I think we'd find we all have more similarities than differences. We all want to be able to afford rent and groceries, we all want to feel safe, and we all want our families to be safe. Let's focus on what we share, and work toward those goals instead of letting the rich people and the media tear us even further apart. Someday we will need our communities to survive. 

Cancel me if you want to, but it won't stop me from continuing to be kind to everyone I come across. 

Taila Out. 

Hello 2025

 Yes, maybe this post is a wee bit late. It might be January 11th, but let’s ring in 2025. 

First we gotta say goodbye to 2024… 

I got six new tattoos. 

I read 96 books. 

I published my debut novel, and completed (and edited) the sequel. 

I went to my first convention as an author. 

Code Red surpassed 100 copies sold!

I made some amazing friends. 

My fiancé and I are celebrating seven years together in thirty four days. 

2024 may not have been all good, but I’m thankful to have made it through another year. 

What is Taila going to be doing in 2025? 

First off I am going to do a LOT of writing. My goal is to have five more books written by the end of this year. My hope is that you will see four releases (one of these will of course be Blue Dreams in March). I know this is an ambitious goal, but I believe with a lot of hard work and my amazing support system I think I can do it. 

I am going to get at least four more tattoos. 

I want to spend more time with friends. I want to get out more, I need to remember to balance my time better. 

Investing more into experiences (ie concerts, events, etc). 

I’m going to try to read 100 books this year, including branching into more genres. 

Saving money! This is something I really struggle with. I aimed in 2024 in gain more financial discipline, I’ll be continuing to work on that in 2025. 

Grow and be Better. As always, I want to continue to expand my understanding of myself and others. I want to never stop learning and growing. 

This is an ambitious list of things I’m aiming for. I don’t expect to do everything on my lists (I certainly didn’t list all of my goals here), but progress is progress. 

Now I better get back to writing these books, for some reason they refuse to write themselves. 

Taila Out. 

Poetry #7: The Bits and Pieces

 I have so many little half written poems and ideas, I’ve decided I want to collect them here. Maybe one day considering I’ve got so much poetry I’ll decide to complete these little odds and ends and actually publish a poetry book. Now onto the bits and pieces… 

                                                                          ***

I earned every fang in my bloody mouth. I earned every scar and raw throat. I earned my viciousness. I cannot be soft, the person capable of that was lost long ago. 

                                                                           ***

Becoming cold was unexpected. I’ve been hot my entire life. Hot blooded. Hot headed. Always burning. I don’t know when the ice started to encroach. Cannot pinpoint the moment I became frozen. I still rage inside. The inferno still licks underneath my skin, but it is met with chilling control. 

                                                                           ***

I don’t know how to avoid being a wrecking ball, freight train girl. I don’t know how to be soft or easy or submissive. I’ve always been chaos and destruction.  Those things are as natural as breathing. I can turn life upside down, can make storm clouds on sunny days. Smoke, ashes, tears, pain, it’s everything I’ve always known. Even the things I create begin with destruction. Because everything has to change, to be molded through suffering, through degradation and pain, to be worth anything. If not then I’ve been through Hell, and gained no knowledge from it. 

Because if I am not allowed creation, I will destroy everything. And isn’t that the very same thing. 

                                                                         ***

I chase feeling like it's the last drop of water in the desert. 

                                                                         ***

He is cracked bones and crooked teeth, not pretty or alluring.  She is smoke and moonlight, ephemeral at the very best. One so hard to catch, to collar and own, too busy dancing in rain to care either way. The other calm and quiet. He is seeking, searching, never quite finding answers to questions he doesn’t know to ask. And the collision is closer to train wreck than heavens glory. Teeth gnash, tears spill, throats burning from words screamed. The earth didn’t move when they met, but the stars gave a quiet sigh, as though things were finally just right. She was no Goldilocks, and he wasn’t the Bear, but somehow they fit together,  their sins bared. 

                                                                        ***

I don’t think it’s the usual creeping edginess. This feels like change, unwavering. Like a black, crashing tide. Planning to drown us all, drag us into the abyss. 

I can’t say I’m scared, I’m used to the drowning. To the flailing worry, the claws forever dug deep into my chest. 

I think the life raft would the the true horror, the illusion of safety, even as the monsters lurk just under your feet. 

I dont live in delusion, unaware, maybe that isn’t for the best. Maybe the deluded have been gifted peace beyond what the rest of us can understand. 

I’ve watched others be rescued on boats, lights and helicopters, flashing to save them as they inhale the blackness down into their lungs. Gasping. Reaching. Always reaching. 

I don’t know panic like that, the water has always been home to me. The safety is unknown. Better the monsters we know, than the evil unseen. 

Maybe I am meant for the depths, the constant battle, it feels natural. 

                                                                            ***

The Cursed 

You won’t know peace, but you may impart it on others. 

Visions will haunt you, the energy will catch you off guard.

Your words will scare people, horrify them when they come to fruition. 

Loneliness will permeate every corner of your life, the few that stay you will push away. 

The true curse, you feel, so strongly it tortures you. You feel with a vibrancy few can imagine. 

The Seer

It’s inherited, the way that you see, a generational curse, though it’s often framed like a blessing. 

It will not be your only gift, just the strongest. The older you are, the more it shows it’s self. 

In the hardest of times, the visions, the knowing will be almost without pause. 

The path will seem foggy and dark at times, you will bring light to others, answers to some. 

They won’t always believe you. Another cross to bear.

The Gift

You can see the corners of people, their dark motivations. You can protect those who listen. 

The knowing is a boon, used wisely, your dreams will come to fruition. 

You will recognize those who are meant for you with ease. Love a recompense for your suffering. 

You are comfortable with the darkness of your gift, it nourishes you. 

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you will fall in love with your sight. Rely on it more than the oxygen in your lungs

                                                                         ***

What’s the point of burning down a kingdom already ruins. Why turn crumbling building to ash. There was no shining eyes, and children’s laugh here. Why March an army down already empty and decimated streets. 

                                                                         ***

The pain in our lack of divinity is haunting. We are not old gods, reincarnated to new purpose. We are not fae, dancing in the forest, luring in the mortals. We are not dragons, hoarding our riches, breathing fire on our enemies. No magic still exists in this world, it is stifling, the humid air crushing our lungs.

We are the monsters, the villains of the story, crushing and bashing everything that gives us life, that breaths hope into this universe. We cannot allow life to exist without pain. We’re not even special in our evils.  

The dreamers, those of us born with stars in our eyes, that breathe in magic at our first breath. We become destroyed, tortured, ripped up filth on the street. Doormats to the worst of the universe. We’re not allowed to create change, to heal the curses set around us. 

                                                                            ***

When you feel like you’re needed. You don’t have to worry about being wanted. 

                                                                            ***

The world is designed to make you forget your divinity. Forces us to suppress our rage, our lust, anything that could fuel us. Force us to work our bodies and minds into exhaustion. Keep us fighting over pointless things so we never unlock our true potential. 

I’m a Goddess, built in perfection, wrapped in unholiness. I will not be stripped of my power, it is intrinsic. No God nor man could take it. It is built into the very foundation of my soul. 

 

                                                                         ***

My casket calls me, a siren song, ever entrancing. Years and years of willpower against it, tied to the beams of a ship I never chose to be on. There are days where I feel it hover, Death watching, waiting to welcome me home. It would take so little, and yet, hesitation has always stopped me. As if Life, flowers in her hair, is fighting for me, begging me to see it through until the end. It’s a lovers embrace, a mothers embrace, a promise that the call is nothing more than lies. 

I am tired. The casket is my eternal bed, giving me relief for the first time. No dreams. 

          

                                                                         ***

That is all for today folks. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed another look into the poetry of Taila. Maybe one day I’ll compile it all and release it into a single book. You never know what I’m going to decide to do next. 

Taila Out. 

Becoming A Professional

There’s lots of parts of publishing a book and working on building my career as an author that I didn’t expect. Many lessons have been learned since April, but the one currently being shoved in my throat is definitely among the hardest. 

I haven’t entirely made an official announcement, but in January 2025 I intend to open my publishing company. I have been working through the idea and ways to do that for several months. I’ve consulted a tax professional. I’m working on making sure I’m organized and ready for things to truly take off in the new year. It’s exciting, and far more terrifying than publishing a book. I knew my novel could fail, I was prepared to simply let that failure exist and keep trying. Opening my own company is a little different, but I’m going to do it. 

Here’s the problem. The lesson that I am currently having the universe stuff down my throat isn’t an easy one for me. I am having to learn to let personal issues and emotions be secondary to maintaining my professionalism. I’m pretty good at the slightly cunty professionally toned lecture. I am not as successful with simply allowing myself to be disrespected without action. I don’t take personal attacks well at all. Especially from people I view as having no right to speak down to me.

This has come up in a big way for the first time as an author. A “friend” of mine posted an extremely bad and rather rude review of Code Red. They didn’t take the time to come to me about what issues they found, they didn’t even have the balls to tell me anything about it directly. Frankly, this was entirely a petty move due to a personal disagreement that had nothing to do with my novel. I have stewed on it on and off for weeks. I simply cannot let it go. Not because I care that Code Red has a bad review. Frankly, the fact that Code Red has such amazing reviews is a blessing. One bad review shouldn’t get to me. In reality, were the review from a stranger I wouldn’t have been bothered at all. The fact it was from someone I knew, who didn’t have the wherewithal to discuss their issues with me? I want desperately to be unbothered by that. To be an unemotional professional. In truth, I have been thinking of all the violent, horrendous ways I’d like to see them suffer for their disrespect. Clearly, I have issues right? Eh, I am human and my books are my babies. I poured seven years of my blood, sweat, and tears into Code Red. Is it perfect? Hell no. There is going to be a second edition in the near future. I’m just prioritizing getting more novels out first. The reality is anyone in my position would have been bothered by someone claiming to be a friend choosing such a petty and underhanded thing to do. It’s okay for me to have feelings about it. I know I’m not going to truly respond or do anything about it. (For legal purposes I’m totally exaggerating my horrible violent plans for their untimely demise). I am better than that. I will get nowhere I want to be allowing other people’s disrespect to cloud my vision. 

I have no doubt this isn’t the end of this lesson for me. I am a proud person, it is a flaw of mine that is hard to contend with. Allowing anyone (but especially people I know) to disrespect and belittle me is extremely difficult. However, I would much rather focus on the good aspects of my career, on all the things I have planned, the places I want go than let someone have any form of emotional control of me. 

I want to extend my highest appreciation to each and every person that has encouraged my journey. I can only hope your kind words and actions will be the voices ringing in my head the next time someone chooses to forget their lane with me. If not hopefully the people who love me keep bail money on hand… I’m kidding… (for legal purposes)

Sometimes I just have to let it out in a blog post guys. Not sure this said much more than a vague rant, but if you read this far… Blue Dreams is releasing March 15, 2025! It’s available for pre-order on Amazon right now. 

Taila Out